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I found this made for excellent small-talk and I also found that once I started, my dates had stories that they were excited to share.There were frequently “My dates have been worse than yours” competitions that were both friendly and fun.First, as mentioned previously, I intentionally kept first dates short and only extended the “good” ones.Second, I would memorize topics that I could talk about.For all my shyness, I never found it very difficult to have conversations on a first date.It isn’t that I gained confidence, I just planned ahead.Early on, there may not be much you care to discover; this was the case for me.

At the same time, you can’t put your date “on trial” so you need to mix your conversations up between discovery, simple light-hearted small-talk, and sharing about yourself. However, any good date won’t require as much thinking as this information suggests.

These two approaches worked very well together ensuring that (at least on first dates) there were never any awkward pauses.

The topics you choose should not solely be there to fill in empty space.

Be patient when trying to learn about the person you are dating. If your date resists at answering some questions, just leave them unanswered and move on to lighter conversation.

The only reason to learn everything about your date right away is if you are assuming there is only going to be one date, in which case there is no point in learning anything about them at all!